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The weird, the offensive, the downright absurd; these just might be the worst car names of all time.
A Car By Any Other Name…
Despite Shakespeare’s comments on the essence of a rose being transcendent of word we use for it, choosing the right name for a car can be make or break when it comes to marketing. For every Ford Mustang there’s a Chevy Citation. Below are just some of the many naming fails from automotive history. Are they the absolute worst ever? We’ll let you decide.
Volkswagen Thing
The Volkswagen Type 181 began life as a military transport in WWII, with the nickname the Kübelwagen, or “tub car,” because it was literally a steel tub of a car. In its civilian adaptation it was the called the Kurierwagen in Germany, the Safari in Mexico, the Trekker in the U.K., and the Pescaccia in Italy. In the US, the Type 181 was marketed as The Thing. With absolutely no relation to the Fantastic Four character, we have to assume VW had just run out of cool names that week.
AMC Gremlin
The last thing you should be naming a car after is a small green monster whose favorite pass time is destroying mechanical equipment, but here’s the AMC Gremlin.
Pontiac Fiero
Though I’m sure Pontiac didn’t know it at the time, but the Fiero’s fiery name would end up being a little too spot on when the car became notorious for catching on fire.
Chevrolet Celebrity
A case of wishful thinking, the budget-friendly Chevy Celebrity was never going to be driven by anyone remotely famous.
Volkswagen Tiguan
The name Tiguan is a portmanteau of tiger and iguana. Which, now that I think about it, is actually awesome and should be on the best car names list instead.
Ferrari LaFerrari (Plus Renault Le Car)
For the ultimate Ferrari the company naturally went with LaFerrari which translates to “the Ferrari.” It doesn’t get more definitive than that or lazy, especially considering Renault had already named one of their hatchbacks Le Car. Then again, it worked for New York, New York and Bond, James Bond so maybe Ferrari LaFerrari not so terrible after all.
Geely Rural Nanny
A mini-truck produced in China, the Geely Rural Nanny is one comma away from being a great title for slow moving yet charming BBC drama.
Mitsubishi Fuso Canter Guts
A variant of the Mitsubishi Fuso Canter, the Canter Guts took a weird name and made it infinitely weirder.
Studebaker Dictator
Studebaker had intended the Dictator’s name to denote “dictating the standard” of all other cars. But as the 1920s gave way to the 1930s, the name became less and less palatable with the rise authoritarianism.
Honda Joy Machine
On face value, a name like the Honda HR-V Joy Machine is fitting for a cute kei crossover, just so long as you don’t read too much into it. We eventually received the HR-V in the states, but I guess it wasn’t a “joyful machine” anymore.
Mitsubishi Minica Lettuce
Another Mitsubishi kei car, another odd name. This time Mitsubishi went with Minica Lettuce for reasons they defy explanation.
Honda Vamos Hobio Travel Dog
And you thought Subaru liked dogs. Honda Vamos Hibio microvan has a variant that requires you either own or purchase a dog to travel with you. Really, read the fine print.
Peugeot Bipper Tepee
The Peugeot Bipper Tepee may sound silly, but it’s actually a no nonsense, super practical hatchback with sliding rear doors.
Mitsubishi Mini Active Urban Sandal
No, the Mini Active Urban Sandal is not footwear, it’s another kei car from Mitsubishi.
Honda That’s
Honda could have at least used an ellipsis when they named the That’s….
Isuzu Mysterious Utility Wizard
Like the Volkswagen Tiguan, the Isuzu Mysterious Utility Wizard is actually a super cool name and definitely belongs on the the best car names list as well.
Ford Probe
If you thought the Ford Probe was awkward and uncomfortable, try sitting in the back seat.
Nissan Moco
This Nissan kei car shares its name with the Spanish word for booger, but we wouldn’t pick it for the worst car name ever. #dadjokes
Unintentional International Double Entendres
There are also a lot, I mean a lot, of car names that ended up being unintentionally vulgar once they arrived in other markets. Since this is a family website, we’ll leave out the translations for the Ford Pinto in Brazilian slag, the Honda Fitta in Swedish, the Mitsubishi Pajero or Mazda Laputa in Spanish, or the Buick LaCrosse in Quebecois French. A lesson for all car makers, when targeting a foreign market, do your market testing, ask around, heck, try out your prospective car names on middle school kids and see if they giggle.
